The Handbag and Pants Conspiracy

Twisty at I Blame the Patriarchy* had this a fabulous rant about those tiny little handbags that are utterly useless. She blames the trend on the patriarchy (as is keeping with her style), but I blame it on women's PANTS! If we had pockets enough to carry our keys, our relevant cards and cash, and some lip balm and a tampon, then we wouldn't feel the need to carry stupid handbags! But noooo! Women's pants have been denied pockets that can actually hold more than a dime. OR sometimes we just have patches sewn on to LOOK like pockets. What's with that?! This is why I wear men's pants. I am unashamed. Men's pants are far superior for the following reasons:

1- They have POCKETS, people! Stick-your-whole-hand-in-there pockets! I can fit my keys (which are massive) and chapstick AND money in one pocket as long as I don't mind looking like a chipmunk.

2- They come in interchangable sizes. If you need a 31" waist, but you're super tall, you can get a 31" waist and a 36" inseam without breaking a sweat. It's fabulous. You get exactly what you need and don't have to compromise. And if you get Men's Boot Cut pants, they can even look cute!

3- They don't squeeze your crotch. Women, this is why we get yeast infections and other nasties. We need to BREATHE! Wear cotton underwear and keep your pants out of eternal wedgie-land.

4- They're made to last longer. Why do we pay way too much for girlie jeans that are already falling apart and then try to squeeze ourselves into them, thereby challenging their integrity further? Men's pants are sturdy, well built and long lasting.

Of course, we knitters already have figured it out. We just carry around huge-ass bags to hold all our many projects to work on. Because you know... you need a sock in progress, and something a bit more complicated if you get bored of the sock, and something simple to work on when you're chatting with someone, and your latest FO so you can show it to the owner of the LYS when you stop in as you've been passing by.... just that sort of thing....

M

* Twisty has also been diagnosed with Breast Cancer a couple days ago, so go wish her well. She deserves it.